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Free beer and fightin’ are intrinsically linked—like peanut butter and jelly, or salt and pepper. Indulging in one just doesn’t feel right without the other. But unfortunately, brawls in which scufflers get smacked across their backs with stools or have beer bottles broken over their heads only to emerge from the melee unscathed just don’t happen in real life. The next best thing to participating in a squabble of your own is safely sitting on the sidelines and indulging in fermented hops while watching professionals beat the shit out of one another in a carefully controlled environment. At “Fight Party 13,” kickboxers and wrestlers do the fighting for you, with live full-contact brawls, karate demonstrations, and a pro wrestling show that has women taking it to the mat. Soak in the bloodlust and the brew, but for your own good, keep the seal on your own personal can of whupass. Round 1 starts shortly after 7:30 p.m. at the Ritz Nightclub, 919 E St. NW. $25-$55. (703) 830-6674. (Sarah Godfrey)