City Paper is not for tourists
In: Spring Valley
Residents Are Opposing: Streetlights
Because: They’re too bright.
We Say: Bright lights, big fucking deal.
In: Forest Hills
Residents Are Opposing: A house overlooking Rock Creek Park
Because: All the metal and glass make it too industrial-looking.
We Say: Modernism is so 20th-century.
Residents Are Opposing: A trailer office on the used-car lot at 7th and Q Streets NW
Because: Temporary structures don’t belong in a historic district.
We Say: And put some wood-frame windows on that Impala.
In: Georgia Avenue
Residents Are Opposing: A police substation
Because: Cruisers take up too many parking spots.
We Say: I would haul you in, but I’ve got this really great space.
Residents Are Opposing: A man who sleeps in his car
Because: “[R]ather than a new neighbor, he is a homeless person.”*
We Say: Mattress stores make us sleepy. —Josh Levin
*As posted on a Tenleytown message board.