In: Spring Valley

Residents Are Opposing: Streetlights

Because: They’re too bright.

We Say: Bright lights, big fucking deal.

In: Forest Hills

Residents Are Opposing: A house overlooking Rock Creek Park

Because: All the metal and glass make it too industrial-looking.

We Say: Modernism is so 20th-century.

In: Shaw

Residents Are Opposing: A trailer office on the used-car lot at 7th and Q Streets NW

Because: Temporary structures don’t belong in a historic district.

We Say: And put some wood-frame windows on that Impala.

In: Georgia Avenue

Residents Are Opposing: A police substation

Because: Cruisers take up too many parking spots.

We Say: I would haul you in, but I’ve got this really great space.

In: Tenleytown

Residents Are Opposing: A man who sleeps in his car

Because: “[R]ather than a new neighbor, he is a homeless person.”*

We Say: Mattress stores make us sleepy. —Josh Levin

*As posted on a Tenleytown message board.