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In: Foggy Bottom

Residents Are Opposing: Ambulances

Because: They make too much noise coming into GWU Hospital.

We Say: Hire Enya to record alternate siren tones.

In: Central Palisades

Residents Are Opposing: A lower population cap for the D.C. Jail

Because: Excess prisoners 14 miles away = potential neighbors.

We Say: Next intruder: cars from the Blue Plains impound lot.

In: Wesley Heights

Residents Are Opposing: PEPCO’s tree contractors

Because: To protect wires, they tonsure trees to grow like the letter U.

We Say: PEPCO: Trim adjoining trees into the letter F.

In: Wisconsin Avenue and Q Street NW

Residents Are Opposing: Students from Duke Ellington School who are waiting for the bus

Because: They harass passers-by.

We Say: We love the block-party scene from Fame.

In: Tenleytown

Residents Are Opposing: Young riders in the Metro station

Because: They’re loud and pushy, seniors say.

We Say: AARP: Get Matlock for the class-action suit. —Josh Levin