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In: Foggy Bottom
Residents Are Opposing: Ambulances
Because: They make too much noise coming into GWU Hospital.
We Say: Hire Enya to record alternate siren tones.
In: Central Palisades
Residents Are Opposing: A lower population cap for the D.C. Jail
Because: Excess prisoners 14 miles away = potential neighbors.
We Say: Next intruder: cars from the Blue Plains impound lot.
In: Wesley Heights
Residents Are Opposing: PEPCO’s tree contractors
Because: To protect wires, they tonsure trees to grow like the letter U.
We Say: PEPCO: Trim adjoining trees into the letter F.
In: Wisconsin Avenue and Q Street NW
Residents Are Opposing: Students from Duke Ellington School who are waiting for the bus
Because: They harass passers-by.
We Say: We love the block-party scene from Fame.
Residents Are Opposing: Young riders in the Metro station
Because: They’re loud and pushy, seniors say.
We Say: AARP: Get Matlock for the class-action suit. —Josh Levin