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From the press release for “Whose Rattling Bones?: A Benefit for Hannah House”: “Two of the five pillars of classic rock’s holy quintumvirate, the Who and the Stones have occupied the middle slots in this group for the last 40 years, noted mainly for being less loud than Zeppelin, less talented than the Beatles, and less angry at Roger Waters than Pink Floyd.” And so, these “Cal Ripkens of Rock” will be “celebrated, lampooned, deconstructed, and given a needed goose” by their fans from such D.C. bands as the Assrockers, Los Hermanos Rodriguez, moodroom, Semi Lunar Valve, Signs Point to Yes, Colonel Klink, King Kilowatt, Feckless Beast, the Patsies, the Milk-O-Matics, Echo Mutt, and others. Come see who gets to be Daltrey and who gets to be Jagger at 9 p.m. at the Velvet Lounge, 915 U St. NW. $7. (202) 462-7625. (Dave Nuttycombe)