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In: Shepherd Park

NIMBYs are protesting: Juanita Thornton/Shepherd Park Branch Library

Because: The roof keeps leaking, even after repairs.

We say: See 352.36, How to Boost Your Capital Budget.

In: Columbia Heights

NIMBYs are protesting: Bags of dirty diapers piled in alleys

Because: It’s an unpleasant sight for people going to work in the morning.

We say: Leave no child’s leavings behind.

In: Dupont Circle

NIMBYs are protesting: Sidewalk-cafe space for Starbucks at New Hampshire Avenue and U Street NW

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Because: Starbucks keeps an open dumpster on the sidewalk.

We say: So much for the U Street blend.

In: Tenleytown

NIMBYs are protesting: Dogs pooping in the kids’ play area at St. Columba’s Episcopal Church

Because: It’s unhygienic.

We say: Teach your children about the nitrogen cycle.

In: Tenleytown

NIMBYs are protesting: American University Law School students

Because: They take all the good street parking spaces without having permits.

We say: This calls for a writ of habeas Corollas.

In: Takoma Park

NIMBYs are protesting: A school-bus driver posting martial-arts fliers on city property

Because: She flips off people who tell her it’s illegal.

We say: That’s how Bruce Lee got his start. —Josh Levin