In: Petworth

Residents are opposing: The mail

Because: It’s late or sometimes misdelivered by blocks.

We say: Why is Ruth Buzzi on the cover of my Entertainment Weekly?

In: Hillcrest

Residents are opposing: Abandoned, torched cars

Because: They’re illegally dumped there.

We say: Gas goes inside the car.

In: Brightwood

Residents are opposing: A new fire hydrant

Because: It’s a foot too high, and the ground around it is torn up.

We say: Dogs of Brightwood hail the extra surface area.

In: Spring Valley

Residents are opposing: A man with a ladder and contractor’s business cards

Because: He was using his ladder to rob houses.

We say: At least he showed up every day.

In: Hillcrest

Residents are opposing: A man with a rake

Because: He’s an aggressive panhandler.

We say: Neighbors don’t understand concept of visual metaphor.

—Josh Levin