Residents are opposing: The mail
Because: It’s late or sometimes misdelivered by blocks.
We say: Why is Ruth Buzzi on the cover of my Entertainment Weekly?
Residents are opposing: Abandoned, torched cars
Because: They’re illegally dumped there.
We say: Gas goes inside the car.
Residents are opposing: A new fire hydrant
Because: It’s a foot too high, and the ground around it is torn up.
We say: Dogs of Brightwood hail the extra surface area.
In: Spring Valley
Residents are opposing: A man with a ladder and contractor’s business cards
Because: He was using his ladder to rob houses.
We say: At least he showed up every day.
Residents are opposing: A man with a rake
Because: He’s an aggressive panhandler.
We say: Neighbors don’t understand concept of visual metaphor.