When you’re the nation’s “leading” music scene and you find yourself in a 20-year slump, it’s time to go back to basics: tits and red lipstick. Throw a few musically disinclined ex-models into revealing designer outfits, add a lot of ’80s New Wave nostalgia, and you’ve got yourself a movement that only a publicist could call an artistic achievement. Taking its name from an annual electronic music festival produced by seminal DJ Larry Tee, the “Electroclash” sound recycles the very same minimal drum-machine beats, distant synth melodies, and disaffected vocals that lit up the club scene two decades ago. But it’s the image that matters, and NYC has always been the best at unabashedly hyping concept over content. After all, one of the few things that sells as well as sex is irony—and after years of sterile techno, perhaps a healthy dose of self-conscious retro-sleaze is exactly what the dance floor is calling for. Move to the sounds of the New New York when DJ Larry Tee performs with W.I.T., Electro-Cute, and Sheila Storms at 10 p.m. at Club Five, 1214-B 18th St. NW. $10-$15. (202) 331-7123. (Matthew Borlik)