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TUESDAY

Anne Rogers Clark—doyenne of the American Kennel Club and commentator for that most uncanny spectacle that is the Westminster Dog Show—is coming to town to host an evening waggishly titled “True Scottish Wags,” which is to feature champion representatives of 14 breeds of Scots poochies. Golden retrievers, border collies, and Shetland sheepdogs, as well as all manner of terriers, are to be paraded across a stage to, one supposes, appreciative oohs and ahhs. Here are the questions that I have for Ms. Clark: Where are all these dogs staying? And how do they travel? Are their accommodations more grand than mine? (I suspect they are.) Do they rate limousines? (I suspect they do.) These are, after all, animals whose entire existence is devoted to grooming. I, on the other hand, can only manage to get a brush through my hair once a day, if I’m lucky. Perhaps I need a handler. See how the pampered live at 6:30 p.m. at the National Museum of Natural History’s Baird Auditorium, 10th and Constitution Avenue NW. $25. (202) 357-3030. (Dave Nuttycombe)