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Bachelorettes, get out your checkbooks: One of the new grace notes in the revival of Naked Boys Singing! is a pre-show auction of seats at newly installed stageside cafe tables. And yes, they come with perks: The lap action isn’t quite what you might get at one of the dick bars down in Southeast, but you will want to wear long pants. I still hate the Naked Maid, and I still think the “Window to Window” boys should see shrinks instead of watching each other—but then, I’m a heartless, unromantic bitch. More-winning moments include a cute new staging for the apt opening number (“Gratuitous Nudity”), a couple of fresh cast members (including an honest-to-God Marine with honest-to-God tattoos), and a cheerfully naughty solo turn that might have come direct from Joycelyn Elders’ prescription pad. Gather your girlfriends—of whatever gender—for a night of giggling and squealing with the Actors’ Theatre of Washington at 7 p.m. at the Source Theatre, 1835 14th St. NW. $20. (800) 494-8497. (Trey Graham)