City Paper is not for tourists
Residents Are Opposing: Fort Dupont Park
Because: Kids overflowing from park festivities jump rope in residents’ driveways.
We Say: They also leave apple-pie stains and picket-fence-paint drippings.
In: Foggy Bottom
Residents Are Opposing: The Kennedy Center
Because: Delivery trucks arrive and idle loudly in the early morning.
We Say: That’s just Pavarotti’s sleep apnea.
In: Logan Circle
Residents Are Opposing: The CVS at 1121 Vermont Ave. NW
Because: It allegedly keeps its Vermont Avenue side cleaner than its 14th Street side.
We Say: Secret corporate acronym: Clean Vermont Side.
In: Lincoln Park
Residents Are Opposing: The nightly craps game at Independence Avenue and 17th Street SE
Because: They say players deal drugs and listen to loud music.
We Say: Nobody’s complaining about the free shrimp cocktail.
In: Cleveland Park
Residents Are Opposing: A gutter cleaner
Because: He leaves his ladder behind and never collects it.
We Say: You’ll be grateful when that giant, barrel-throwing ape is on your roof. Josh Levin