In: Hillcrest

Residents Are Opposing: Fort Dupont Park

Because: Kids overflowing from park festivities jump rope in residents’ driveways.

We Say: They also leave apple-pie stains and picket-fence-paint drippings.

In: Foggy Bottom

Residents Are Opposing: The Kennedy Center

Because: Delivery trucks arrive and idle loudly in the early morning.

We Say: That’s just Pavarotti’s sleep apnea.

In: Logan Circle

Residents Are Opposing: The CVS at 1121 Vermont Ave. NW

Because: It allegedly keeps its Vermont Avenue side cleaner than its 14th Street side.

We Say: Secret corporate acronym: Clean Vermont Side.

In: Lincoln Park

Residents Are Opposing: The nightly craps game at Independence Avenue and 17th Street SE

Because: They say players deal drugs and listen to loud music.

We Say: Nobody’s complaining about the free shrimp cocktail.

In: Cleveland Park

Residents Are Opposing: A gutter cleaner

Because: He leaves his ladder behind and never collects it.

We Say: You’ll be grateful when that giant, barrel-throwing ape is on your roof. —Josh Levin