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After the gates have been locked and the tourists have gone home, chilling laughter can be heard coming from the National Zoo’s Great Ape House. Oh, during daylight hours, those adorable primates put on quite a show for their audience: cavorting about, dangling from trees, picking bugs off each other’s backs. Yet unknown to camera-carrying parents and their wide-eyed offspring is the fact that it is the audience whose actions and responses are being observed—in preparation for an upcoming monkey revolution. Perhaps it will be at the Friends of the National Zoo’s “Won’t You Take Me to… Monkey Town” mixer (featuring a tour of the Great Ape House, a talk by a zookeeper, live music, and a pool of “young professionals” to mingle in) that our supposedly inferior cousins will acquire the last bit of understanding necessary—that of the human mating ritual—to overthrow mankind. Feel the fear at 6 p.m. at the National Zoo, 3001 Connecticut Ave. NW. $10. (202) 673-4637. (Matthew Borlik)