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In: Near Northeast
Residents Are Opposing: Kids playing basketball in the street
Because: Missed passes sometimes break car windows.
We Say: Stop complaining, start coaching.
In: Shepherd Park
Residents Are Opposing: Parking-enforcement officers
Because: They ticket illegally parked cars.
We Say: What’s next, arresting criminals? Oh, right.
In: Columbia Heights
Residents Are Opposing: Construction companies
Because: Building work has caused an upswing in the rat population.
We Say: Each building should have 25 percent of its space reserved for low-income rats.
In: Cleveland Park
Residents Are Opposing: Good-hearted folks feeding other people’s cats
Because: Extra food makes kitty sick.
We Say: Don’t you know my cat has a body-image problem?
In: Takoma Park
Residents Are Opposing: Upbeat, pseudo-religious, door-to-door magazine sellers
Because: They won’t take no for an answer.
We Say: Offer is valid until Jan. 31, Apocalypse. Josh Levin