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A few months ago, my boss had me read a movie script about horse racing that was billed as “National Velvet meets Blue Velvet.” Interesting combo, I thought: pretty horses plus illicit sex? Severed ears? Pabst Blue Ribbon? Sadly, the script was nowhere near weird enough to merit such a comparison. Having been thus burned, I should probably distrust writer and performer Joe Von Appen when he calls his one-man show, Shadow Factory, “a coming-of-age story where David Lynch meets After School Special.” Hmmm. Is that guy from Eraserhead going to knock up the star cheerleader? Did Mini-Thins lead little Laura Palmer astray? The 25-year-old Oregonian describes his monologues as “hip, aggressive, and unapologetic…portraits of urban life today.” So probably no severed ears, but at least Von Appen promises “devastating theatrical precision and rock star energy.” Shadow Factory begins devastatingly precisely at 7:30 p.m. (see City List for other dates) at the District of Columbia Arts Center, 2438 18th St. NW. $10. (202) 462-7833. (Mike DeBonis)