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Bigfoot? Wuss. Yeti? Tomato can. If you’re talking ferocious man-beasts, you gotta start with Goatman. Just take a gander at the G-man’s all-star stats: Over a 30-year-plus career, D.C.’s hairy hunka manimal, wildly wielding that trusty rusty ax, has been responsible for a veritable slew of doggie decapitations. Plus his loyalty to our area has been just as impressive as his evasiveness: Every Halloween, a coupla horny, tipsy teens will wander down to the ol’ CSX train tracks in Bowie, Md., and will never be heard from again. That’ll teach those little fornicators! As a long-overdue nod to our hirsute local hero, the 30 dedicated scholars behind the “interactive theater production” Goatman Hollow will probe, via haunted housery, whether Goatman was actually a mad scientist gone furryous. They’ll also no doubt scare the crap outta you. Get your goat on at 7 p.m. (see City List for other dates) at the corner of 42nd Avenue and Oliver Street, Hyattsville. $10. (301) 442-4670. (Sean Daly)