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In: Woodley Park
Residents Are Opposing: Utility poles
Because: They look as if they’re from “1910.”
We Say: Elizabethan poles available from Brass Knob.
In: Chevy Chase
Residents Are Opposing: Traffic studies
Because: The results are always divisive, pitting street against street, block against block.
We Say: The man with the mutton chops and the Mississippi rifle has the floor.
In: Foggy Bottom
Residents Are Opposing: GWU’s practice of parking service trucks on the I Street “pedestrian mall”
Because: Pedestrian malls are made for walking.
We Say: A pedestrian mall? Sounds like a great spot for a new dorm.
In: Petworth
Residents Are Opposing: The PA system at Barnard Elementary
Because: Residents can hear announcements from across the street.
We Say: “There will be an emergency meeting of the water-balloon club after school.”
In: Brightwood
Residents Are Opposing: A slovenly group house
Because: Its sagging garage is falling down.
We Say: We’ll, like, put it on the chore wheel. Josh Levin