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In: Takoma

Residents Are Opposing: The new electronic message board outside CVS

Because: It’s annoying.

We Say: “HELLO….WELCOME TO CVS… SEE P@RIS H!LTON F*CKING….HELLO….”

In: Cleveland Park

Residents Are Opposing: A dumpster diver

Because: He could be stealing identities.

We Say: Is that homeless guy with the red knife really the Swiss ambassador?

In: 14th Street NW

Residents Are Opposing: The new graffiti hotshot “Chickenhead”

Because: He paints little chicken heads on buildings.

We Say: Neighborhood Orange Slut Patrol grateful.

In: Columbia Heights

Residents Are Opposing: Contractors

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Because: At the end of the day, they dump their garbage on residents’ properties.

We Say: Are you sure that pile of asbestos wasn’t there before?

In: Brookland

Residents Are Opposing: A neighborhood teen

Because: He was knocking on doors at 9 p.m. after being locked out of his house.

We Say: And when you let him in, he talks about the coming of God’s Kingdom. —Josh Levin