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Madonna, Britney, and Paris agree: If you want your god sexy, the Kabbalah is where it’s at. But let’s talk accessibility here: There’s no Kabbalah: The Movie from which to crib your Jewish mysticism, whereas Buddhism’s got Bertolucci’s Little Buddha, Scorsese’s Kundun, and Brad Pitt spending Seven Years in Tibet. Yes, Buddhism’s been big on these shores for several decades, gaining mainstream attention way back when Richard Gere began touting it. Which makes it all the more embarrassing that the Dalai Lama couldn’t get a U.S. visa until he won the Nobel Peace Prize, yet Steven Seagal could have himself declared the reincarnation of a Tibetan religious figure without a hitch. Here’s a koan for you, Steven: If Under Siege plays in an empty theater, does it still make a sound? Author Jeffrey Paine examines Hollywood’s love affair with Buddhism when he reads from his book Re-Enchantment at 7 p.m. Friday, Feb. 6, at Politics and Prose, 5015 Connecticut Ave. NW. Free. (202) 364-1919. (Jason Powell)