City Paper is not for tourists
Residents Are Opposing: A repaving project on O and P Streets
Because: It’s removing historic cable-car tracks.
We Say: Don’t touch that pothole—Sally Quinn broke her heel there in 1983.
Residents Are Opposing: A convenience store
Because: It sells single cigarettes to local schoolchildren.
We Say: Whatever you do, don’t get into a car with Joe Camel.
Residents Are Opposing: Street sweepers
Because: They move too fast to actually pick up any trash.
We Say: If I get this baby up to 88 mph, I can get the garbage from last week.
Residents Are Opposing: A new house on R Street
Because: It’s just too massive.
We Say: Your house is so big, it went to Sizzler and got a group discount.
Residents Are Opposing: Illegal curb cuts
Because: One resident uses his for a car-stereo installation shop.
We Say: At least it’s not as messy as the horse-stereo installation shop. —Josh Levin