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Poor Dr. Almeja: This dedicated servant to the medical community can’t get a moment alone with his microscope without being interrupted by some doe-eyed, long-legged muchacha prancing in and demanding a cure for her sexual inhibitions. Of course, steamy sex is always in the best interest of the sciences, so the music kicks in, legs are thrown into stirrups, and the good doctor starts unbuttoning his lab coat. Ooh, yeah. A “triptych of sexually-oriented vignettes that follow the same ‘logic’ and plot mechanics of European soft-core films,” Eric Cheever’s Las Historias Más Sexy Del Mundo (“The Sexiest Stories on Earth”) stars the District’s most bold and beautiful musical personalities (including Ian Svenonius, Michelle Mae, and Melissa Farris) at their sleaziest, climaxing with a performance by D.C.’s own aptly named Scene Creamers (a far sexier moniker than Weird War). The 16 mm film was shot on a budget of $2,000, so don’t expect any money shots when the film screens at 8:30 p.m. (followed by a performance by the Childe Ballads) at the Warehouse Next Door, 1017 7th St. NW. $6. (202) 783-3933. (Matthew Borlik)