Listen up, perverts: “Dirty Shorts Night” isn’t dirty in the way your lustful little libido wants it to be. It’s dirty in a way that’s going to make you scrub yourself clean with a Brillo pad the minute you get home. Between the unshaven, psychotic 48-year-old man washing his socks in the bathtub (Matthew Silver’s Mother & Son) and the flabby, pale-skinned boys dancing around in their god-knows-what-stained tighty-whities (Jason Affolder’s The Swinger), it’ll be a miracle if there’s any hand soap left in the bathroom before the 12 featured shorts are over. Highlighting the program is Hold Me While I’m Naked, George Kuchar’s 1966 camp classic starring the director as an alienated, greasy-faced filmmaker whose exhausted leading lady pulls out of his soft-core “art” film. Ask directors Todd Rohal (whose Knuckleface Jones is also screening), Nate Pommer, and Silver if they’re wearing clean underwear when the films screen at 7:30 p.m. at Visions Bar Noir, 1927 Florida Ave. NW. $10. (202) 667-0090. (MB)