Residents Are Opposing: A steel plate at the intersection of 4th and M Streets
Because: Cars might fall through it.
We Say: I know a shortcut to China.
Residents Are Opposing: Sharpe Health School
Because: The toilets don’t work.
We Say: Cholera makes a nice class pet.
Residents Are Opposing: McKinley Tech
Because: Construction workers’ unguarded tools attract thieves.
We Say: Jackhammer-point muggings up 1,800 percent.
Residents Are Opposing: The District Department of Transportation
Because: New parking signs by Ellington School require them to get up at 5:30 a.m. to move their cars.
We Say: The 15-minute swing reveille didn’t wake you up already?
In: Shepherd Park
Residents Are Opposing: Montgomery County cops
Because: They pursue criminals right across the District line.
We Say: D.C. Council proposes 2 percent commuter tax on loot. —Josh Levin