A suggestion: Next time you go to your library, put your arm around the librarian’s waist and check for the mechanism that allows for “amazing push-button shushing action.” Just don’t expect him or her to pay your bail after you get hauled away: That noble Master of Library Science probably makes less than $50K per year. (It’s one of the reasons I dropped out of library school, six credits short of the master’s, to pursue the bling-bling bliss of freelance writing.) Besides that button that brings her right index finger to her thin lip—do note that she’s smiling!—the Librarian Action Figure sports sensible flat-soled shoes, a blocky suit with an ankle-length skirt to make Trinny and Susannah sob, standard-issue horn-rims, and—surprise!—no bun. “The ejectable hair bun had many technical hurdles to overcome and we thought doing two clichés was over the top,” creator Mark Pahlow told the Seattle Times. “So, we went with the shushing action. It gives the figure a certain dignity.” The doll also holds a volume called Book Lust—the title of a collection by Seattle librarian Nancy Pearl. When the real, live Pearl arrives to discuss Book Lust—subtitled “Recommended Reading for Every Mood, Moment, and Reason”—note that she’s way more animated and warm than the 5-inch hard-plastic doll for which she modeled. Don’t ask about her button at 7 p.m. Wednesday, April 21, at Olsson’s Books & Records, 418 7th St. NW. Free. (202) 638-7610. (Pamela Murray Winters)