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Somewhere in Australia, the world’s largest producer of wool, there’s a mob of sweaty engineers trying to strap a kicking sheep onto a Barthwick power-driven shearing table. Elsewhere Down Under, pointy-headed lab-dwellers are concocting chemicals that will break off fleece fibers at the follicle. But here in America, pal, we like to get our wool the old-fashioned way: wrestling a 300-pound ruminant to the ground and giving it a once-over with an electric razor. Never mind that a shearer’s back may survive only 10 years of chasing, dragging, and lifting unwilling animals, and that those years are full of taxing “dags”—manure-snarled locks. Hand-shearing is the classy way to a classy sheep. Just ask Jordan Thomas, manager of the campus farm at the University of Maryland, as he shaves Cotswold and Border Leicester sheep at the Textile Museum’s 26th Annual Celebration of Textiles at 11 a.m. and 2:30 p.m. at the Textile Museum, 2320 S St. NW. Free. (202) 667-0441. (John Metcalfe)