In: Fort Totten

Residents Are Opposing: A wine distributor’s warehouse

Because: Morning deliveries mean more traffic.

We Say: Sommelier on call in case of rush-hour fender-bender.

In: Michigan Park

Residents Are Opposing: Girls and Boys Town

Because: Runoff from its parking lots floods neighborhood houses.

We Say: Flooding makes Father Flanagan cry. Unfortunately, that causes more flooding.

In: Logan Circle

Residents Are Opposing: A proposed apartment building

Because: The owner previously tolerated a brothel staffed by undocumented immigrants.

We Say: John Ashcroft detained them for three minutes.

In: Columbia Heights

Residents Are Opposing: Headless parking meters

Because: They’re used to stash dope.

We Say: Free drugs on weekends and holidays.

In: Takoma Park

Residents Are Opposing: Freight trains

Because: They idle on the Piney Branch overpass for hours at a time, angering residents.

We Say: Think about how the hobos must feel. —Josh Levin