Get local news delivered straight to your phone

1

THURSDAY

We can't make City Paper without you

$
$
$

Your contribution is appreciated.

The lonely-movie-nerd market is a profitable one, and a savvy businessman such as myself could really make some bucks developing Mystery Science Theater 3000 for Telemundo: Sarcastic janitor Miguel and his amigos robotos are stranded aboard El Satélite Del Amor, forced to watch incredibly cheesy películas, hurling pointed barbs and obscure references at the screen en español. In this realidad alternativa, our hapless heroes would no doubt have a field day with El Barón Del Terror, Chano Urueta’s 1961 B-grade horror flick also (un)known as The Brainiac. What’s not to love about a baron burned at the stake during the Spanish Inquisition who returns to Earth on a comet to mete out bloody vengeance to the descendants of his murderers 300 years later? Did I mention that his head grows to the size of a watermelon as he attempts to suck out their brains with his forked tongue? I’m going to be rich! The film screens at 8:30 p.m. in the Hirshhorn Museum and Sculpture Garden’s Ring Auditorium, 7th Street and Independence Avenue SW. Free. (202) 357-2700. (Jason Powell)