SATURDAY

KISS, those shameless Kapitalists in Silly Suits, has raked in so many kazillions of dollars over the past 30 years that you’ve got to wonder why the boys keep touring; logic would dictate that nobody wants to be a Kabuki Klown From Outer Space forever. Then again, it’s not as if the faux-satanic foursome has anything better to do. How’s Gene Simmons supposed to spend his golden years: sitting in his Barcalounger spitting blood at the television set? So ’round the guys go from town to town, suckering new cash-carrying recruits for the KISS Army, kids who weren’t even alive when KISS Alive III was released, much less in 1975, when the original that made every teen in America want to rock and roll all nite and party every day came out. And let it be said for Gene, Ace, Paul, and Eric (it’s even a different Eric…oh, just don’t ask): They sure know how to put on a show. Unrepentant hucksters that they are, the men of KISS don’t even make a pretense of musicianship—they’re far too busy projectile-vomiting internal organs and getting launched into the audience via gargantuan catapults to pay attention to anything so silly as songs. And hey, you’ve got to love them for it. KISS is Las Vegas’ revenge on America—living proof that style trumps substance every time. You can pay $75 to watch Clapton torture “Layla” if you want to, but really, wouldn’t you rather see Ace Frehley’s guitar shoot fireballs across a darkened arena? Wouldn’t you rather be entertained? Lick it up when Kiss plays with Poison at 7 p.m. Saturday, July 24, at the Nissan Pavilion, 7800 Cellar Door Drive, Bristow. $25–$75. (202) 397-7328. (Michael Little)