In: Stanton Park
Residents Are Opposing: “To go” cups (complimentary plastic cups filled with ice)
Because: People use them to make mixed drinks.
We Say: Next thing you know, they’ll be handing out bendy straws.
In: Twining
Residents Are Opposing: A discarded couch behind Citgo on Minnesota Avenue NE
Because: It attracts the neighborhood riffraff.
We Say: Seated crime increases 8,000 percent.
In: Mount Pleasant
Residents Are Opposing: A grocery-cart storage pen
Because: It isn’t historic enough.
We Say: That’s not moldy—it’s historic bread.
In: Columbia Heights
Residents Are Opposing: A row of garages converted into rentable space
Because: “Anybody could set up a business there.”
We Say: Say hello to Wal-Mart.
In: Brookland
Residents Are Opposing: Bulletproof glass inside food stores
Because: It gives customers the “wrong impression.”
We Say: I’m more worried about the hollow-point hoagies.
—Josh Levin