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In: Stanton Park

Residents Are Opposing: “To go” cups (complimentary plastic cups filled with ice)

Because: People use them to make mixed drinks.

We Say: Next thing you know, they’ll be handing out bendy straws.

In: Twining

Residents Are Opposing: A discarded couch behind Citgo on Minnesota Avenue NE

Because: It attracts the neighborhood riffraff.

We Say: Seated crime increases 8,000 percent.

In: Mount Pleasant

Residents Are Opposing: A grocery-cart storage pen

Because: It isn’t historic enough.

We Say: That’s not moldy—it’s historic bread.

In: Columbia Heights

Residents Are Opposing: A row of garages converted into rentable space

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Because: “Anybody could set up a business there.”

We Say: Say hello to Wal-Mart.

In: Brookland

Residents Are Opposing: Bulletproof glass inside food stores

Because: It gives customers the “wrong impression.”

We Say: I’m more worried about the hollow-point hoagies.

—Josh Levin