As one of the country’s premier newspapers, the Post must use every implement in the writer’s tool kit to tell its stories. No punctuation mark can go unused; no feature device can go unexplored; and pile on the metaphors!
Introducing a new feature rating the Post’s periodic attempt at belletristic grandeur:
Washington Post Literary Flourish: “The cacophony starts before the first light of dawn, like an agitated rooster.”
The Verdict: Roosters need not be agitated to crow.
Washington Post Literary Flourish: “His grandfather Harvey J. Haynie had a big white horse, called Pat, and Ricky sometimes still sees the two of them in his dreams, out there in the fields, a man and his mount blending with the land like wedded partners in a slow dance.”
The Verdict: Add: “as the purple rays of an expired sun washed their coarse skin.”
Washington Post Literary Flourish: “Husband and wife stand at the back door to say goodbye to Haynie. They seem as connected as tree and shade.”
The Verdict: Focus groups found this one direct, elegant.
Washington Post Literary Flourish: “Her eyelashes curl like a fawn’s. She has milk-chocolate skin as smooth as blown glass.”
The Verdict: Leading qualities of glass: hard, transparent, brittle.
Washington Post Literary Flourish: “His pale blue eyes shimmer like glass stones set in a creamy canvas.”
The Verdict: Like a rhinestone cowboy