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Admit it: You like watching porn. I know you do. Hell, someone still hasn’t returned Down on the Farm IV to the video store I work at. Of course, having a good wank while watching Debbie and her cheerleading squad hold a “fundraiser” in the privacy of your own bedroom is one thing—but going to a grimy porn theater, sitting down on a god-knows-what-encrusted seat, and servicing yourself while in the company of others is something only a pervert would do, right? Take the right film and put it on the big screen at Landmark’s E Street Cinema, however, and it’s no longer filth—it’s art! Finally, decent, law-abiding kitsch-porn freaks like you and me have a respectable environment where we can view and discuss, without embarrassment, the finer points of such classics of adult cinema as Norm De Plume’s 1977 The Lollipop Girls in Hard Candy. Starring the legendary John Holmes, De Plume’s “vintage, widescreen porno epic” is one of few adult films shot and presented in 3-D. And you know what that means: feeling really awkward at brunch with your friends the next day. Sure, Holmes’ one and only scene appears to be spliced in from a different movie, and the plot—which has something to do with three ancient Greek warriors who end up at a candy factory in modern-day California and inadvertently turn the lollipops manufactured there into aphrodisiacs—is a convoluted mess of trippy psychedelia and slapstick humor. But aren’t most other forms of art as challenging to the mind and, in some ways, less, er, stimulating? Bring a date when the film screens at midnight Friday, Oct. 15, and Saturday, Oct. 16, at Landmark’s E Street Cinema, 555 11th St. NW. $6.75. (202) 452-7672. (Matthew Borlik)