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Sure, some kids threaten to run away from home if they don’t get Turbo Man for Christmas. And maybe Junior will rip up the carpet with his teeth if he doesn’t get that eighth turkey leg on Thanksgiving. But let’s be honest: Halloween is our only major holiday that’s all about extortion. When I was growing up, the neighbors knew that if they dared pass out those “fun size” candy bars they’d get a “fun size” brick through the window. (Ironically, “fun size” bricks are “extra-big.”) The soft, doughy kids of today, however, seem to have forgotten the true meaning of Halloween: What good are treats if they’re acquired tricklessly? This year, either dishonor the memory of both the Great Pumpkin and Satan by dressing up as Casper the Quaker Ghost or head down to the D.C. Theosophical Society’s lecture “Halloween: A Festival of Lost Meanings” to bone up on the glorious traditions of Oct. 31. Julia Rogers speaks at 3 p.m. at the United Lodge of Theosophists, 4865-A Cordell Ave., Bethesda. Free. (202) 237-2372. (Josh Levin)