City Paper is not for tourists
In: Adams Morgan
Residents Are Opposing: Residential parking for Flexcar
Because: “Giving away our parking spots for the benefit of your company is an abuse of the public trust.”
We Say: The public demands that those spots be reserved for kegs and funnels.
In: Cleveland Park
Residents Are Opposing: A mountain of restaurant garbage behind 3516 Connecticut Ave. NW
Because: It’s unhealthy.
We Say: That’s a sidewalk cafe for goats.
In: Columbia Heights
Residents Are Opposing: The old Bruce School at Kenyon Street and Sherman Avenue NW
Because: It’s a magnet for illegal trespassing, drugs, and prostitution.
We Say: They always say that you learn more from an old hooker than you could ever pick up in the classroom.
Residents Are Opposing: A barbecue joint on 12th Street NE
Because: It’s low on food.
We Say: I think that guy pushing a wheelbarrow of pulled pork might have something to do with it.
Residents Are Opposing: The proposed baseball stadium
Because: If it is built, someone who commits a crime will be able to blend into the crowds.
We Say: I think that guy in the bow tie took my $500 million.