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WEDNESDAY

Hey ladies! Leslie Nielsen here. Interested in a career that offers travel to exotic places, the chance to make snap decisions that could spell the difference between life and death for hundreds of hysterically screaming people, and a nifty hat? What? You want to hear that middle part again? Sure, but first I want to tell you about the fabulous opportunities that await you as an airline pilot. Did you know that only 3 percent of today’s airline pilots are women? That’s a disgrace, is what that is, when one considers how exciting it must be to sit in the cockpit of a 747 hurtling through the air, saying things such as “Roger” and “Mayday! Mayday!”—all the while wearing your very own captain’s hat. Why, you’re not going to get to wear a hat like that working some crummy ground-bound executive-level position. Nor—and I can’t stress this enough—will you ever get the chance to have your last words (“Oh, shit…”) immortalized on a black-box recording. So hurry on down to hear Dorothy Cochrane deliver her lecture, Airline Pilot: A Good Job for a Woman at noon at the National Air and Space Museum, 7th Street and Independence Avenue SW. Free. (202) 357-2700. (Michael Little)