In: Columbia Heights

Residents Are Opposing: Cars illegally parked next to a condominium on Harvard Street

Because: When they explode—as one did recently— they could burn down the building.

We Say: I thought Columbia Heights was in the Green Zone.

In: Columbia Heights/Adams Morgan

Residents Are Opposing: A man with a baseball bat in Meridian Hill Park

Because: He hits you with the bat and demands money.

We Say: D.C. has baseball fever!

In: Georgetown

Residents Are Opposing: A jumbo-sized dog

Because: It leaves mounds of jumbo-sized poop.

We Say: At least it’s regular.

In: Petworth

Residents Are Opposing: Domku Cafe

Because: According to a local minister, God doesn’t want alcohol in Petworth.

We Say: That water-into-wine thing is only for special occasions.

In: Brookland

Residents Are Opposing: A house on 13th Street NE that sells single cigarettes

Because: Customers block the road with their cars.

We Say: It tried selling gum but fell off the wagon.

—Josh Levin

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