City Paper is not for tourists
In: Columbia Heights
Residents Are Opposing: Cars illegally parked next to a condominium on Harvard Street
Because: When they explode—as one did recently— they could burn down the building.
We Say: I thought Columbia Heights was in the Green Zone.
In: Columbia Heights/Adams Morgan
Residents Are Opposing: A man with a baseball bat in Meridian Hill Park
Because: He hits you with the bat and demands money.
We Say: D.C. has baseball fever!
Residents Are Opposing: A jumbo-sized dog
Because: It leaves mounds of jumbo-sized poop.
We Say: At least it’s regular.
Residents Are Opposing: Domku Cafe
Because: According to a local minister, God doesn’t want alcohol in Petworth.
We Say: That water-into-wine thing is only for special occasions.
Residents Are Opposing: A house on 13th Street NE that sells single cigarettes
Because: Customers block the road with their cars.
We Say: It tried selling gum but fell off the wagon.