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During a recent move, I finally admitted that I have a problem: I never throw anything away, ever. Each new apartment is the previous one’s logical end, an aggregate of crap I haven’t needed since—well, let’s not go that far. Clutter is a way of life, one that allows you a certain freedom: Why be hemmed in by a laundry basket when there’s a perfectly good floor at your disposal? This philosophy has drawbacks, of course. People tend to not want to congregate—much less get nekkid—in ill-kept quarters. And what’s the point of having a room of one’s own if the only clothes hitting the floor are one’s own? McLean-based entrepreneur Sonya Goldman, the self-proclaimed “Escher of clean,” thinks messiness is our default mode, reflecting “good living,” and preaches that cleanliness is an illusion that can be conjured without signing over your weekend to scrubbing. With business partner Shae Leighland, Goldman presents “Guerrilla Cleaning,” a workshop that provides a series of tips to trick the eyes and nose. Among the more conventional advice is that “[o]ne pile looks cleaner than two”; among the less conventional is to “give yourself permission not to clean.” Permission granted. Make Mom proud when Goldman and Leighland speak at 7 p.m. at the McLean Community Center, 1234 Ingleside Ave., McLean. $20. (703) 203-1145. (Chris Hagan)