In: Stanton Park

Residents Are Opposing: A new Cluck-U Chicken restaurant on H Street NE

Because: There are already too many chicken joints in the neighborhood.

We Say: Cluck-U Cuttlefish tested poorly.

In: Logan Circle

Residents Are Opposing: Armless benches in “Logan Circle Park”

Because: Homeless people can sleep on them.

We Say: This bench I know lost its legs in Vietnam.

In: Langdon

Residents Are Opposing: A proposed skate park

Because: Who has a skateboard in Ward 5?

We Say: A half-pipe? I bet Ward 3 got the whole thing.

In: Anacostia

Residents Are Opposing: Belligerent youths outside the Anacostia Park tennis courts

Because: They curse at players; one kid threw a rock.

We Say: We all grieve Stefan Edberg’s retirement in our own way.

In: Buena Vista

Residents Are Opposing: A “herd of people” across from Marion Barry’s house

Because: For years, they’ve been “distributing something back and forth.”

We Say: Don’t the Bishops have enough signatures by now?

—Josh Levin