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THURSDAY

In a previous life, I was a hater. Then I heard about psychologist Lorne Ladner’s The Lost Art of Compassion: Discovering the Practice of Happiness in the Meeting of Buddhism and Psychology. Breathing deeply, I managed to look beyond his slickly alliterative porn-star-esque name and his white-guy-with-Tibetan-Buddhism-fetish syndrome, and read his lame-o tract. Now I know that learning to love other people is the greatest love of all. I also learned some kickass meditation techniques. Whether I’m whizzing around Adams Morgan on my bike, disobeying traffic rules and slowing down those fools who clog up the streets with their cars, or turning up my headphones so I can ignore someone who’s asking for directions, I think, “In a previous life, this twit was my kind mother; having chewed his generous teat, I have infinite gratitude for the milky oceans of his kindness.” I don’t know if it’s working, though. So I’m going to blame Ladner when he speaks at 6:30 p.m. at the S. Dillon Ripley Center, 1100 Jefferson Drive, SW. $15. (202) 357-3030. (Bidisha Banerjee)