Get our free newsletter

DO IT DO IT DO IT

I already get the newsletter

In: Cleveland Park

Residents Are Opposing: Cars from other neighborhoods

Because: They take up parking spaces.

We Say: First they take our spaces. Then they take our jobs.

In: Shaw

Residents Are Opposing: A proposed charter school on 9th Street NW

Because: All those teenagers might frighten conventioneers.

We Say: I’m taking an elective in elderly-punching.

In: Petworth

Residents Are Opposing: Twice-weekly jam sessions on Shepherd Road NW

Because: “When practice is over, band members congregate in the alley and talk loudly.”

We Say: Conversations are so punk rock.

In: Takoma

Residents Are Opposing: Planes dropping parachuters

Because: They circle overhead and make noise for 20 to 30 minutes at a time.

We Say: That’s the price you pay to play live-action Space Invaders.

In: Tenleytown

Residents Are Opposing: A little girl selling cakes door-to-door

Because: “She never delivered my order.”

We Say: The crumbs lead straight to Livan Hernandez’s car.