There’s still time to nominate local icons for Best of D.C.
You may not have realized this, but Lindsay Lohan’s boobs are starring in their very own movie this summer. Oh, and there’s a car in it, too. Herbie: Fully Loaded is the fifth film to feature the lively little Love Bug since his 1969 debut, though obviously the white VW will be a novelty to this G-rated Disney production’s target audience. At times, however, it’s questionable exactly whom director Angela Robinson (D.E.B.S.) is aiming for. The opening montage includes footage from old movies and headlines about what the frisky Beetle has been up to over the years, while the soundtrack is loaded with classic-rock staples such as “Born to Be Wild,” “Working for the Weekend,” and “Jump.” And, of course, there’s the bosomy Lohan, who plays recent college graduate Maggie Peyton, the skilled daughter in a racing family—though Dad (Michael Keaton) won’t let her compete. That changes, however, when she picks Herbie up from a dump and, well, gets his motor runnin’—which leads to a rivalry with champion driver Trip Murphy (Matt Dillon). The kiddies may get a kick out of Fully Loaded, whose squeaky-clean blandness is enlivened only by No. 53’s impossibly cute mannerisms, most notably squirting oil on anyone who insults him and swooning, headlights aflutter, over a newer model. But older audience members may notice that the fleet of scriptwriters (six are credited) get the movie’s lessons a bit muddled: Honesty is highlighted, but a Big Lie is quickly forgiven. Likewise, Maggie’s driving skills are praised, though it’s the bug that determines whether she wins or loses every race. The cast members all deliver workmanlike performances, with Keaton appropriately concerned, love interest Justin Long fittingly goo-goo-eyed, and Lohan suitably squealy and tight-T-shirt-clad, suggesting that the rumor her décolletage was digitally reduced by two cup sizes was just that. But don’t let that worry you, ’rents: Fully Loaded was shot well before Lohan’s sickening weight loss, so your young daughters won’t develop eating disorders after watching this feel-gooder—and it’ll be years before they’re asking for breast implants.