I shouldn’t love marijuana. Weed has strained my relationships with my parents, friends, and wallet. But I also love bacon, and I love cheeseburgers, and I love vanilla milkshakes, and under the influence of no other substance is such a combination so desirable. Something I do not love, however, is marijuana culture. Along with my cavemanlike appearance and communication skills, pot smoking has occasionally landed me the dreaded “hippie” tag. Let the record show that I shower daily, have never done the dog-paddle dance to a shitty band indebted to Polly-O for its name, have never been in a drum circle, and am (still) grateful Jerry’s dead. I’m especially leery of the symbiosis of pot and protest cultures; I’ve yet to uncover the link between Third World debt relief and marijuana rights. But the black bloc is unlikely to ruin the Fourth of July Hemp Coalition’s 35th Anniversary Smoke-In, a rally, march, and concert for legalization that, in light of the Supreme Court’s recent confirmation of medical marijuana’s illegality, will be as ineffectual as dirt weed. Or tofu dogs. Leave the bongos at home when the rally starts at high noon in Lafayette Park, 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. NW. Free. (202) 251-4492.