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There’s a section of Paul Feig’s latest autobiographical tell-all that’s titled “Please Do Not Read This Chapter.” It’s filled with faux-modest literary devices: the halfhearted warning, the false start, the “Please proceed to page 273”—all designed to tell you just how much he really does want you to check out what he quite obviously thinks is the most embarrassing moment of his life: the time he tried to become “the Leonardo da Vinci of masturbation” by sucking his own cock. When he fails, he does so spectacularly and fucks up his neck. He then runs through what he might tell the doctor on duty, only to have his body realigned by a timely phone call from his mother. Brutal. Feig’s book, Superstud: Or How I Became a 24-Year-Old Virgin, is all about the Freaks and Geeks creator’s pre-screw obsessive relationship with sex, a problem most folks can almost certainly identify with. It’s a brisk read—if only because you want to make it through the uncomfortable stuff, which is, frankly, all of it—with a happy ending. Amazingly, Feig doesn’t marry the first girl he pops. And he even manages to make it through two full games of Mousetrap before jumping her bones. Now that’s some serious restraint. Feig reads at 7 p.m. Friday, July 8, at Olsson’s Books and Records, 2111 Wilson Blvd., Arlington. Free. (703) 525-4227. (Mike Kanin)