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On a particularly fine episode of Shorties Watchin’ Shorties, Eddie Gossling pointed out to me that a second-grade teacher is paid the same amount as, say, a high-school physics teacher. Not that I’ve ever considered a career in education, but fucking with kids is fun, and second-graders do seem far easier to fuck with than high-school students. I’m not sure the up-and-coming New York–based 30-something comedian has any more profound insight to offer, however: We’re talking about a guy who claims to have overdosed on horseradish, dropped out of college because he had too many unpaid parking tickets, and TP’d houses on Halloween at the age of 33 with his teenage nephew. (When the cops come, you apparently just tell ’em it’s your place and yell at the scattering hooligans.) Gossling’s stage presence has been compared to that of some of stand-up’s heaviest hitters—Richard Pryor, Steve Martin, Bob Newhart—and he’s been a big hit on the festival circuit alongside some of today’s biggest acts, namely Dave Chappelle and the recently late, always great Mitch Hedberg. Gossling performs at 8:30 p.m. at the Improv, 1140 Connecticut Ave. NW. $15. (202) 296-7008. (CH)