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The authors of Smart Women/Foolish Choices: Finding the Right Men, Avoiding the Wrong Ones probably didn’t have Lisa “Suckdog” Carver in mind when they penned the classic women’s self-help guide. However, the great ’zine queen would have been the perfect audience for sage advice on choosing male partners. As a teenager, she left America to wed the skeezy French noise musician Jean Louis Costes. Then she came back and got with notorious noise musician and amateur Nazi Boyd Rice. They had a baby, who was unfortunately born with a chromosomal deletion, and Rice began getting violent. Amid all those early-’90s missteps, my buddies and I had huge crushes on Carver, and we would eagerly anticipate each issue of her magazine, Rollerderby, which was easily one of the five most important ’zines of that decade. Tonight, she’ll be reading from her memoir, Drugs Are Nice, which looks to be in the same vein, so to speak, as her ’zine articles, which always contained a nice mix of the quotidian and the decadent. Carver explains it all with Dame Darcy and Alzo Boszorjemyi & the Acid Achievers at 8:30 p.m. at the Warehouse Next Door, 1017 7th St. NW. $8. (202) 783-3933. (David Dunlap Jr.)