We know D.C. Get our free newsletter to stay in the know.
In the words of the esteemed poet and Hot Snakes singer/guitarist Rick Froberg, “I hate the kids.” Why the concept of fatherhood repulses me so, however, I have yet to figure out. Perhaps it’s the diapers. Or the thought of dedicating the supposed best years of my life in their entirety to a thankless, mewling brat that will grow up to hate me throughout its teens, leech off me while in college, and then ungraciously dump my senile ass into a second-rate retirement home when that one last marble finally rolls out of my head. Digging a little deeper, I think I actually blame David Lynch’s 1977 full-length directorial debut Eraserhead more than anything: After an ex–love interest shows up pregnant, poor sap Henry Spencer (Jack Nance) is compelled to marry her and move into her cramped, squalid apartment. But when the “child” is born a nightmarishly mutated, iguanalike scream factory which he is forced to rear himself—well, let’s just say it’s an image that keeps me packing the plastic. The film screens at 7 p.m. at Catholic University’s Crough Center, Koubek Auditorium, 620 Michigan Ave. NE. Free. (202) 319-5188. (Matthew Borlik)