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Ladies, how much abuse will we accept for a free makeover? We let strangers mock our wardrobes while our children call us frumpy and our husbands complain that the sight of us in sweats makes them go soft—and for what? The privilege of letting a team of stylists chop our locks into chunky layers, smoke up our eyes, wrap us in a side-tie dress, and send us out into the world slightly more polished but no more happy? When will we finally stand up and refuse to trade self-esteem for a shopping spree? Well, we know when the uprising won’t be happening: at today’s Dr. Miracle’s Bad Hair Day Contest. The woman who shows up with the most mangled ’do will win a free makeover and other fabulous prizes, the raggedy runners-up will receive free relaxer kits, and everyone will take home a valuable lesson: All the grooming in the world won’t make your kids behave, convince your husband to fuck you, or otherwise improve your lot. And that’s no lye. You can straighten out your hair, if not your life, at 10 a.m. at Zanzibar on the Waterfront, 700 Water St. SW. Free. (202) 554-9100. (Sarah Godfrey)