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Chelsea Handler likes to bone. In fact, she’s made a career of it. Short of teetering about in stilettos and a pleather bustier on the dimly lit blocks of 12th Street, the woman could not cash in more directly on her abundant sexual misadventures; an inventory of a young man’s naughty exploits rates barely worthy of locker-room fodder, but a woman willing to bare all about baring all is, apparently, in for a sweet book deal. My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands chronicles Handler’s systematic abuse of a bevy of lovers. Lying, cheating, and boozing her way into various sets of trousers, she serves up blunt commentary about her man-prey with all the vapid objectification of boys that they have, frankly, earned. Part memoir, part fabrication, Handler’s ruminations survey sex with a stripper and a midget and include an examination of what the author describes as “vagina elbow.” Handler reads (books provided by Olsson’s) before David Attell performs at 7 p.m. at American University’s Bender Arena, 4400 Massachusetts Ave. NW. $25. (202) 397-7328. (Kara McPhillips)