26

MONDAY

In the latest use of faulty intelligence and made-up scary stuff, right-wingers have waged a war against those who wish to banish Christmas from public displays, stamps, and, presumably, collectible Hummels. Fox News has made it the network’s issue of the season, supplanting real shitstorms in Iraq, Darfur, and New Orleans. God bless ’em, they’ve finally picked a war they can win. This Jew says let them have their tacky Christmas crap: heartwarming airings of The Santa Clause, Celine Dion & Co. dry-humping “Silent Night,” and fruitcake jokes. Meanwhile, let us Jews have our own hokey celebration with “What I Like About Jew,” wherein we mock ourselves—and the gentiles—ever so gently with such tunes as “Reuben the Hook-Nosed Reindeer.” Are they really so scared of us now? We’re just as stupid as the Christians. But we get eight glorious nights to prove it. The show starts at 7:30 p.m. at the Birchmere, 3701 Mt. Vernon Ave., Alexandria. $17.50. (202) 397-7328. (Jason Cherkis)