24

FRIDAY

The shocking political-sexual scandals of yesteryear can seem innocent a short while later. A pretty intern, a blue dress—today it all sounds as quaint as Teapot Dome. And as Mistress, Landless Theatre’s evening of political love affairs, shows, L’Affaire Lewinsky was just another variation on an honored tradition. Landless does its usual irreverent, gendo-political sendup, this time surveying nine famed bed-warmers of state from Nell Gwyn, wise-cracking paramour of Charles II, to Camilla Parker Bowles, revered by the others not just for nailing her prince, but for nailing him down, too. Landless even throws in a few himbos—Catherine the Great’s Grigory Potemkin, and Robert Dudley, who made a big fat liar out of “Virgin Queen” Elizabeth I. A distraught, pill-popping Marilyn Monroe loosely ties it all together. Desperate for attention, she takes relationship advice from Eva Braun, who says overdosing worked wonders with “Wolf.” Get the Us Weekly version of history at 7:30 p.m. (see City List for other dates) at District of Columbia Arts Center, 2438 18th St. NW. $18. (202) 462-7833. (Janet Hopf)