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As Dick Cheney must have reminded old friend/recent target Harry Whittington, love means never having to say you’re sorry. Especially when you’re competing for love on television like Flavor of Love’s New York, who dubbed one of her co-contestants an “undercover lesbian.” Or like The Bachelor: Paris’ Jenny, who encouraged her fellow rejects to gang up on one of their own. Thank goodness, then, for the civility of contestants like Sarah B., who graciously declined a colleague’s advice to stop whining: “I can say that my feet hurt, bitch!”

Flavor of Love

Sunday at 10 p.m.


R-E-S-P-E-C-T—find out what it means to Flavor Flav’s gold diggers: “Do I like Pumkin? No. Do I respect Pumkin? No. Does Pumkin still need a face-lift? Um, yes!” says finalist New York. But Pumkin should consider herself spared. “I’m not gonna share my man with another woman,” New York says of rival Goldie. “A big girl at that!”

The Bachelor: Paris

Monday at 10 p.m.


Love is patient. Love is kind. Love is getting your face in front of lots of casting directors. “Your own family pretty much threw you under the bus,” says chipper host Chris Harrison to finalist Susan, the aspiring actress who was axed after her mother suggested she was “acting.” “That was me, and I’m proud of how I acted,” Susan says in her defense. “Whatever vehicle brings me to professional happiness is what I want.” Awww!

Starting Over

Tuesday at noon

Syndicated (WRC-TV)

A poet named Poetri helps unhappy wife Lisa express her anger: “So this is Tony,” says Poetri, referring to Lisa’s husband and pointing to a cushion on his couch. “Damn you, Tony!” Lisa screams at the cushion. “Damn you for drifting in our marriage! I wanted us to love each other!” Yeah? Well, I wanted you to fluff me! Tony the Pillow silently screams back.


Thursday at 8 p.m.


The tripe has spoken: “I was like, Awright, I’m-a go in here and take a dump before you start storing wood in the toilet,” says a ticked-off Bobby, who doesn’t share his team’s interest in dedicating their new outhouse to storage. A teammate wants Bobby to show some self-control: “He’s dropping a deuce!?” Shane asks in disbelief, days after trying to quit the show so he could smoke a cigarette.

Trick My Truck

Friday at 8 p.m.


Meet the real men of the Chrome Shop Mafia: “This gray color…in here’s gonna have to go,” says burly Rob, disgusted with an old rig’s interior. “I could paint the outside of the truck like Kentucky horse country…with flowers,” adds muscled “paint whore” Ryno. “Oh, Ryno—that’s so sweet!” answers the hulking, heavily tattooed Kevin, flashing a red-state smile. —Mario Correa