FRIDAY

It’s been scientifically proved that there is nothing funnier than an elderly person saying a naughty word. Beyond that, American audiences love to watch their old people act horny, smoke pot, and participate in extreme sports. Adam Sandler and his Happy Madison production company are more than happy to give the public what they want: the oversexed septuagenarians of Grandma’s Boy. If they follow this formula to its logical conclusion, we can expect them to produce an NC-17 remake of Harold and Maude. Nick Swardson, who appears in Grandma’s Boy, would be perfect to play Harold. His choirboy eyes look even more innocent than Bud Cort’s, and anyone who’s seen his turn as Terry, Reno 911’s rollerskating squeals-on-wheels male prostitute, knows that he can sex up a scene. Swardson himself seems a bit obsessed with the aged. On his Comedy Central special, he describes how easy it is to impress his grandmother by lifting a gallon of milk, imitating her reaction: “You’re the strongest boy in the world!…You should fight crime!” Swardson also argues that old people should live recklessly because they have the least to lose. One bit finishes with “Your friends are like, ‘Hey, I heard your grandma passed away—what happened?’ ‘Psssh…She flipped her ’vette, man.’” See Swardson at 8 p.m. and 10:30 p.m. at the State Theatre, 220 N. Washington St., Falls Church. $23. (703) 237-0300. (David Dunlap Jr.)