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Pastor: the Rev. Robert Panke

Service Length: 40 minutes

Service Attendance: about 65

Sample Worshipper Dress: black slacks, “Nevada” sweatshirt

Prayers Are Directed Toward: an increase in vocations to the priesthood

Congregational Fervor

Worshippers passed up NCAA-tourney drink specials at nearby pubs to attend a recent St. Patrick’s Thursday noon mass. HHHHH

Food for the Soul

“I have something to say that is difficult to share. I might die tomorrow,” Panke proclaimed to the congregation before pausing a moment for effect. “Or I might live another 40 years.” Having succeeded at raising more than a few eyebrows in the congregation, Panke delivered a short homily that touted the virtues of meditating on one’s own death. “Root out sin in your life today; live your life for God,” he concluded. HHHHH

Food for the Body

Those not contented with a meal of the Holy Host are advised to seek their lunch elsewhere. No food or drink was available after the service. HHHHH

Overall Worship Power RATING

The service closed with a rather repetitive prayer titled “Novena to St. Patrick,” which invoked the name of Christ “behind me, before me, beside me” and in eight other locations. While a few worshippers took this as a cue to slide out the back, a dutiful majority remained until the dismissal. HHHHH

—Aaron Leitko